英語小笑話(帶翻譯)

　　導(dǎo)語：小編為需要英語小笑話(帶翻譯)的朋友精心收集整理以下的英語小笑話，文章僅供參考。

　　英語小笑話(帶翻譯)

　　1.A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table

　　一位歷史老師和他的妻子在吃飯

　　the wife asked “Anything new at work”, and he replied", no, I am teaching History".

　　妻子問到：“工作上有什么新鮮事嗎?”丈夫回答說：“沒有，我是教歷史的�！�

　　2.A man was at the doctor's office. "Every time I drink a cup of coffee, Doctor, I have a stabbing pain in my right eye. What should I do?" he asked .

　　一位男子來到醫(yī)生的.辦公室�！搬t(yī)生，每次我喝咖啡，我的右眼都有刺痛感。您說我該怎么辦？”他問道。

　　"Take the spoon out of your cup. " answered the doctor.

　　“把勺子從咖啡杯里拿出來�！贬t(yī)生回答說。

　　3.To prevent our dog, Lacy, from pestering visitors to our house, my mother often massaged her as she lounged beneath the kitchen table, her favorite resting spot. One day a contractor came over to talk about a home-improvement project.

　　為避免我們的狗，萊希，糾纏來訪的客人，我母親常在愛犬喜歡呆的地方，即餐桌下面，摩昵它。一天，一個(gè)建筑商來談居室裝潢工程。

　　As he and my mother sat across the table discussing the renovations, my mother slipped off her shoes and mindlessly soothed Lacy with her feet.

　　在這人和我母親坐在餐桌邊談居室的修茸時(shí)，我母親滑脫了她的鞋子，開始不經(jīng)意地用腳摩蹭起萊希來。

　　My mother had been talking for about a half-hour when to her great embarrassment she heard Lacy bark outside the front door.

　　談話進(jìn)行了半個(gè)小時(shí)的時(shí)候，我母親突然感到很不好意思起來，因?yàn)檫@時(shí)她聽到了萊希在前門外的犬吠聲。

　　4.A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning.

　　一天早晨，一位黑人女人和一位金發(fā)女郎正走在公園里。

　　Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird

　　. 突然，黑人女人發(fā)現(xiàn)了一只死去的小鳥。

　　"Awww, look at the dead birdie," she says sadly.

　　“哦!看這只死去的小鳥�！彼�悲傷地說。

　　The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, "Where? Where?"

　　金發(fā)女郎停下了腳步，她抬頭望著天空，問道：“哪，在那?”

　　5.The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"教進(jìn)化論的老師已經(jīng)滔滔不絕地講了快兩個(gè)小時(shí)，他的話題又來了：“讓我向進(jìn)化論者提個(gè)問題——如果我們?cè)��?jīng)像狒狒那樣長(zhǎng)著尾巴，那么現(xiàn)在尾巴到哪里去了?”

　　"I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".

　　“我來試試看，”一位老太太說�！霸撌俏覀�?cè)谶@里坐這么久把它們磨掉了吧。”

　　6. A husband and wife,both 91,stood before a judge,asking for a divorce."I don't understand,"He said,"Why do you want a divorce at this time of life?"the husband explained "Well , you see,We wanted to wait until the children died."

　　有一個(gè)丈夫和妻子都是91歲，他們站在法官面前，要求離婚�！拔也幻靼�，”法官說，“你們?yōu)槭裁吹搅诉@把年紀(jì)還要離婚?”丈夫解釋道：“嗯，你是知道的，我們以前是喲等到孩子們都死了�！�

　　7."Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.

　　“你相信人能死后重生嗎?”老板問他的一個(gè)員工。 “我相信，先生”。這位剛上班不久的員工回答。 “哦，那還好”。老板接著說。 “你昨天提早下班去參加你祖母的葬禮后，她老人家到這兒看你來了�！�

　　8.Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.弟弟：我看見你親我姐姐了，如果你不給我五分錢，我就告訴我爸。

　　Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.姐姐的男朋友：不要那樣做。給你五分錢。

　　Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.弟弟：我這個(gè)月已經(jīng)賺了一塊兩毛五了。

　　9.s a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"

　　一名陌生人走進(jìn)一家鄉(xiāng)間小商店，看到玻璃門上帖著的一個(gè)告示牌上寫著，“危險(xiǎn)! 小心有狗!” 進(jìn)去后，他看到一條樣子一點(diǎn)都不兇的老狗趴在收款機(jī)旁邊的地板上睡覺。 “這就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人問店主。“是，就是他”，店主回答。 聽到這個(gè)回答， 陌生人覺得很好笑�！拔矣X得那條狗一點(diǎn)都不可怕。 你帖那個(gè)告示做什么?” “因?yàn)�，�?店主解釋說，“在我帖告示之前， 大伙老被他絆倒�！�

　　10.Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool?

　　年少的童子軍：我怎樣才能把蘑菇和毒蕈區(qū)別開呢?

　　Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.

　　年長(zhǎng)的童子軍：上床前吃一個(gè)。如果你第二天早上醒來，那就是蘑菇。