短英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑

　　笑話大多揭示生活中乖謬的現(xiàn)象，具有諷刺性和娛樂(lè)性。其趣味有高下之分。小編你挑選了短英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑，希望你會(huì)喜歡，一起來(lái)歡樂(lè)笑笑啊!

　　短英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑一：Bishop Creighton

　　克萊頓主教

　　Creighton was going along a West End square when he saw a little fellow trying to reach the knocker of a large house.

　　Can't you reach up so high? queried the Bishop kindly.

　　No, sir, said the small youngster.

　　Well, then, let me help you, and the Bishop mounted the three steps and gave a splendidrattat(砰砰聲) .

　　The little boy glanced hastily(匆忙地) at the gentleman of the cloth. Come on, he yelled, we must both run.

　　當(dāng)克萊頓主教沿著倫敦西區(qū)的一個(gè)廣場(chǎng)走著的時(shí)候，他 看見(jiàn)一個(gè)小家伙正試圖抓住一所大房子的門環(huán)。

　　你是不是夠不到這么高的`地方呢?主教好意地問(wèn)。

　　是的，先生。那小孩說(shuō)。

　　那好，讓我來(lái)幫你。主教登上那三級(jí)臺(tái)階，在門上重重扣了幾下。

　　那個(gè)小男孩急忙給教士遞上一個(gè)眼色�？炫�，他喊著：我們倆都得跑。

　　短英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑二：Women's Bumper-Stickers

　　SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

　　GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.

　　IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.

　　MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

　　PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,

　　SEEKS FROG.

　　COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN...SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

　　DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.

　　IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.

　　DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.

　　I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN-AND I HAVE A GUN.

　　GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO, BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?

　　NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.

　　WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

　　OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

　　YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.

　　ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.

　　I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

　　HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

　　SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.

　　IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.

　　DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.Women's Bumper-Stickers

　　SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

　　GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.

　　IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.

　　MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

　　PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,

　　SEEKS FROG.

　　COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN...SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

　　DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.

　　IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.

　　DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.

　　I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN-AND I HAVE A GUN.

　　GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO, BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?

　　NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.

　　WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

　　OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

　　YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.

　　ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.

　　I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

　　HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

　　SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.

　　IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.

　　DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.

　　短英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑三：Logic Reasoning 邏輯推理

　　A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

　　Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

　　His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?

　　A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?

　　小學(xué)四年級(jí)的教師正在給學(xué)生們上一堂邏輯課。她舉了這么一個(gè)例子：有這樣一種情況，一個(gè)男人在河中心的船上釣魚(yú)，突然失去重心掉進(jìn)了水里。于是他開(kāi)始掙扎并喊救命。

　　他的妻子聽(tīng)到了他的喊聲，知道他并不會(huì)游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰(shuí)能告訴我這是為什么? 一個(gè)女生舉手答道，是不是去取他的存款?

　　短英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑四：Goes to the cinema

　　A boy goes to the cinema. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out. He buys a second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys a third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out a third time and asks for another ticket. The ticket seller says to him, "Why are you buying all these? Are you meeting friends in the cinema all the time?" "No, I;m not doing that." The small man says, "But a big woman always stops me at the door and tears my tickets up."