愚人節(jié)笑話英語 (菁選3篇)
愚人節(jié)笑話英語1
I Have His Ear in My Pocket愚人節(jié)笑話英語笑話版送給愛笑的你。
年少無知
Jimmy is three years old.
吉米3歲了。
One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"
一天,他正在窗口觀望,夜幕降臨。他突然喊道:“媽媽,媽媽,快來關(guān)窗!”
"Why? It's not cold, sonny."
“為什么?天不冷呀,寶貝!
"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."
“是的,媽媽,可黑夜會進(jìn)來!
快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
在休倫湖釣完魚后,我的一個朋友開車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。 他沒帶手機(jī),不過,他想,也許他可以通過海事無線廣播來請求公路援助。 于是,他爬到他的船里面,啟動了無線裝置,喊道,“求救,求救”。一名海岸護(hù)衛(wèi)隊*作出了回應(yīng),“報告你的位置”!癐-75號公路,Standish的南面兩英里”。沉默了好一會之后,*問我的朋友,“你的船靠岸時開得有多快?”
冰箱里的'小兔子
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.
一位女士打開冰箱門,發(fā)現(xiàn)一只兔子坐在其中的一層隔板上,就問它:“你在那里做什么?”
The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"
兔子回答:“這是Westinghouse對不對?”(Westinghouse,西屋電氣公司)
The lady confirmed, "Yes."
女士確認(rèn)道:“沒錯。”
"Well," the rabbit said,"I'm westing."
兔子說:“那就對了,我就是要往西邊去。”
Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?
兔子:你確信這瓶特制胡蘿卜汁能治好我的病?
Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
醫(yī)生:當(dāng)然咯,凡是喝過的兔子沒有一只來要第二瓶的。
Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from?
兔寶寶:媽咪,我是從哪兒來的呢?
Mother Rabbit: I'll tell you when you're older.
兔媽媽:等你長大點再告訴你。
Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now.
兔寶寶:噢媽咪,現(xiàn)在就告訴我吧,求您了。
Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat.
兔媽媽:如果你一定要知道,那我告訴你你是從魔術(shù)師的帽子里被拽出來的。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。**媽問,“發(fā)生了什么事?”
“一個男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認(rèn)出來嗎?”媽媽問。
“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他,”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢!
錢不用找了
Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.
在教堂的義賣市上賣舊書時,我與一名準(zhǔn)備買東西的顧客發(fā)生了一場爭論。他對購買袖珍奧金.納什集頗感興趣,但是說它要***美分開價過高。其它的*裝書每本才賣十或十五美分。
I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.
我指出這本書保存狀況頗好,納什是個有趣的詩人,這個要價是合理的。他說這是個原則問題。最終,我同意以十五美分的價格將這本書賣給他。他得意洋洋,拿出一張十美元的票子付帳。“零錢不用找了!彼f。
愚人節(jié)笑話英語2
1、-What the day is it today?
-Today is April fools'day.
-Oh!you are wrong today is March the 31th.If you don't believe me please pick up the calendar.
-Oh!it is really April fools'day.
-Haha!you were cheated!
-今天是星期幾?
-今天是四月愚人節(jié)。
-哦!你錯了,今天是三月三十一日。如果你不相信我,請拿起日歷。
-哦!這真的是四月愚人節(jié)。
-哈哈!你被騙了!
2、Best wishes and I believe your English will be better and better!
最好的祝愿,我相信你的英語會越來越好!
3、A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok,mommy." and goes to sleep. the next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn''t come true!". The mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
一個雙目失明的小男孩正被媽媽抱上床。媽媽說:“現(xiàn)在,比利,今晚和明天都要好好祈禱,你的愿望會實現(xiàn)的!”比利說:“好的,媽媽,”然后去睡覺。第二天早上,比利醒來尖叫著:“媽咪!”!我還是瞎了眼,我的愿望沒有實現(xiàn)!媽媽回答說:“我知道——四月傻瓜!”
4、Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.
Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily.
妻子對丈夫(整天看報紙)說:我希望我是一份報紙,所以我整天都在你手里。
丈夫:我也希望如此,這樣我就可以每天換你了。
5、A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!
一個小男孩問他的父親:爸爸,結(jié)婚要花多少錢?父親回答說:我不知道兒子。我還在付錢!
6、At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?
The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!
Father said: Wait!I am coming with you.
半夜,父親看到他已婚的兒子離家出走了…他問他:你在干什么?
兒子回答:爸爸,我受夠了我的生活!我的新婚生活不太順利,我妻子和我媽媽一直在打架!我得為我的親家付賬,我討厭這種生活!我想遠(yuǎn)離這里,我想品味生活中的每一種樂趣,我想享受生活的樂趣!
父親說:等等!我和你一起去。
7、A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?
The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!
The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?
The wife: Very good, thank you.
The husband: And, what happened to my present?
The wife: Which present?
The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?
The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!
一個女人去英國參加一個為期兩周的公司培訓(xùn)會議。她丈夫開車送她去機(jī)場,祝她旅途愉快。
妻子回答:謝謝你,親愛的,你要我給你拿什么?
丈夫笑著說:一個英國女孩。!
那女人默不作聲地離開了。兩個星期后,他在機(jī)場接她,問道:親愛的,旅途怎么樣?
妻子:很好,謝謝。
丈夫:我的禮物怎么了?
妻子:哪一件禮物?
丈夫:我要的是那個英國女孩?
妻子:哦,那!好吧,我盡力了,現(xiàn)在我們得等幾個月看看是不是女孩!
愚人節(jié)笑話英語3
1、Why are people tired on April Fool's Day?
(愚人節(jié)人們?yōu)槭裁雌>耄?
答:Because they have just had a long March.
( 因為他們剛過了長長的三月。March 三月、行軍)
2、What weather do mice and rats fear?
(老鼠害怕什么天氣?)
答:When it's raining cats and dogs.
(下大雨。rain cats and dogs 下大雨 )
3、When do dogs refuse to follow their masters?
(狗什么時候不愿跟隨主人?)
答:When their masters go to the flea market.
(主人去跳蚤市場時。Flea 跳蚤 flea market 舊貨市場 )
4、What question can never be answered by “yes”?
(哪個問題永遠(yuǎn)不能回答“是的”?)
答:Are you asleep?
(你睡著了嗎?)
5、What tree is always very sad?
(哪種樹總是很傷心?)
答:Weeping willow.
( 垂柳。weep哭泣 willow柳樹)
6、When can you get water with a net?
(什么時候可以用網(wǎng)兜裝水?)
答:When water is turned into ice.
(當(dāng)水結(jié)成冰時。)
7、Why is the pig always eating?
。ㄘi為什么沒完沒了地吃?)
答:He's making a hog of himself.
(它想成為一只肉豬。)
8、What's the longest word in the world?
(世界上最長的單詞是什么?)
答:Smiles. Because there's a mile between the letter 's'.
(微笑。因為兩個字母S中間隔了一里。)
9、What question is that to which you must always answer "yes"?
(什么問題你只能回答“yes”?)
答:"What does y-e-s spell?"
。 (當(dāng)別人問你)“yes”怎么拼?)
10、Where were you when the power was cut off?
(當(dāng)停電的時候你在哪?)
答:In the darkness.
(在黑暗中。)
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 (菁選3篇)擴(kuò)展閱讀
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 (菁選3篇)(擴(kuò)展1)
——愚人節(jié)笑話3篇
愚人節(jié)笑話1
1、親愛的,經(jīng)過一年的深思熟慮我終于決定,虎年初一我不貼對聯(lián)而把屬虎的你的玉照貼到門上,因為那一定會—避邪。
2、介紹一道祛痘又減肥的秘方:上班高峰期,選擇本市某輛爆滿的公交車,從起點擠到終點,再從終點擠到起點,如此數(shù)回,包您一天之內(nèi)立竿見影。
3、每個城市都會下雨,就像我走到哪里都會想你,思念是一種果實,甜中帶酸,盛產(chǎn)在夜里,滿滿的回憶,帶著不確定的心情想你想你想扁死你~
4、雨下的斷斷續(xù)續(xù),引起我無限的思緒~~說白了就是想你!等到風(fēng)和日麗,我還帶你去那片綠草地。但事先和你約定:只準(zhǔn)吃草不準(zhǔn)拱地!
5、你為了我,每天辛苦地工作,即使面對我的惡言惡語,也依舊努力地做,毫無怨言,謝謝你,周末到了,你好好休息一吧,鬧鐘,我要睡到自然醒!
6、寒風(fēng)刺骨,卻始終愛你如初;月轉(zhuǎn)星移,卻依然永不分離;你是我溫暖的依托,你是我美夢的保障,啊,冬天里,離不開你--我的羽絨棉被,我愛你!
7、小心!背后有人!別慌!聽我的,先慢慢抬起左手,掃一掃肩膀,然后再慢慢抬起右手,做一樣的動作。好了,頭屑撣掉了…
8、如果秋天走了,我會在雪地里等你;如果世界走了,我會在天堂里愛你;如果我走了,會讓她來照顧你真的,她的養(yǎng)豬技術(shù)不賴!
9、wc門口排著長長的隊伍,你實在憋不住了對前邊的人說:我快憋不住了,能不能讓我先進(jìn)?那人緊握著拳頭,從牙縫里擠出一句話:你至少還能說話!
10、唐伯虎點秋香:稟夫人,小人本住在蘇州的城邊,/家中有機(jī)上寬帶,生活樂無邊。/誰知那大熊貓,它蠻橫不留情,霸占資源目無天,殘我軟件毀我片。/我用瑞星跟它來翻臉,慘被它三香來打扁,/用毒霸跟它辛苦周旋,反被它弄得進(jìn)了電腦公司,/重裝了一百遍,一百遍,最后花費用盡遺恨人間。
愚人節(jié)笑話2
愚人節(jié)笑話1、幸虧它幫忙
有個男人上街買了一擔(dān)米,一頭重,一頭輕,不好挑。他抓抓頭皮想出了一個辦法,在輕的一邊放上一塊大石頭。他汗流泱背地把米挑到家,放下?lián),長長噓了一口氣道:“今天幸虧有這塊石頭, 不然簡直沒辦法挑回來!”
愚人節(jié)笑話2、前面也有雨
有個男人在雨里慢慢行走。路上有人見了覺得奇怪,問他道:
“雨下得這么大,你怎么不快點走?”
他從從容容地答道:“快點兒走有啥用?前面也有雨嘛!”
愚人節(jié)笑話3、“不識數(shù)”的播音員
電視里放映精彩激烈的乒乓球賽,引起了老奶奶的極大興趣。
看完后她嘖嘖稱贊:“球打得好,球打得好!可惜偏偏找了個不識數(shù)的播音員!”
小孫孫聽了不解地問:“人家咋不識數(shù)?”
老奶奶說:“明明是兩個人在打球,他偏說是單打。明明是四個人在打球,他卻硬說是雙打。他少數(shù)了一半,這不是不識數(shù)是啥?”
愚人節(jié)笑話4、家里人知道
醫(yī)生對護(hù)士說:“你去問那位受傷的太太的名字,好通知她家里!
護(hù)士一會兒回來后說:“病人說:‘不用了,家里人知道我的名字。,”
愚人節(jié)笑話5、最好與最糟
一座橋用兩根木頭搭成,一根高,一根低。有個拐子過橋,高的那根木頭正好湊合著他的短腿,因此走起來*穩(wěn),就稱贊說:“天底 下就數(shù)這座橋造得最好!
拐子辦完事回來,由于換了方向,一高一低的橋使他特別費力,他生氣他說:“這是座天底下造得最糟糕的橋了!
愚人節(jié)笑話3
“愚商”奇高的你,已成功入選非常4+1“愚”樂節(jié)目特邀嘉賓,節(jié)目主題是自“愚”自樂、全民“愚”樂,如“愚”興未了,下期繼續(xù),年年有“愚”哦!
愚人節(jié)到,祝福趕早,愿你:做個愚人,煩惱少少;若被人愚,微微一笑;莫要生氣,容易變老;哈哈一笑,開心常抱,關(guān)于愚人節(jié)的笑話短信。祝你愚人節(jié)歡樂綻放!
親,你想被TA追求嗎?親,你想讓TA注意到你嗎?親,你想讓TA對你表白嗎?親,你想和TA手牽手嗎?親,你想讓TA現(xiàn)在就發(fā)短信給你嗎?親,你想太多了——愚人節(jié)快樂噢!
天氣預(yù)報:你家白天下***,晚上下支票,局部有金條,半夜有傾盆美元轉(zhuǎn)歐元,請帶好鋼盔,備好麻袋,愚人節(jié)當(dāng)天發(fā)財,祝你提“錢”快樂!
坐著巴馬黑鉆跑車,帶著萊溫貼身助理,叼著林頓加長雪茄,喝著拉里低碳飲料,進(jìn)入內(nèi)塔五星酒店,打開蓋茨四維電腦,向全球各界名流祝賀:愚人節(jié)快樂!
明媚的陽光是否已經(jīng)照到你的頭頂?開心的笑顏是否已經(jīng)閃現(xiàn)你的臉龐?幸福的感受是否已經(jīng)爬上你的心頭?如果是的話,請按時繳納陽光使用費,快樂人頭稅,還有幸福印花稅!
短信息,傳情意,看的人兒笑嘻嘻;心兒晴,頭腦靜,成功得意伴你行;美嬌娘,從天降,讓你心頭情蕩漾;麻煩你,別傻樂,這個信息發(fā)錯了!
一直好想問你一句話卻又不敢貿(mào)然開口,特別是在寧靜孤獨的夜里,想你想的廢寢忘食,思緒萬千,輾轉(zhuǎn)難眠,離開你的懷抱,冷風(fēng)直冒,好想再將你擁抱。啰嗦半天,其實只想告訴你。。。保持開心,鍛煉身體,好好睡覺,晚上尿床,快把床單扔掉。愚人節(jié)快樂逍遙!
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 (菁選3篇)(擴(kuò)展2)
——愚人節(jié)英語笑話
愚人節(jié)英語笑話1
1.why are people tired on april fool's day? (愚人節(jié)人們?yōu)槭裁雌>?)
答:because they have just had a long march. ( 因為他們剛過了長長的三月。march 三月;行軍)
2.what weather do mice and rats fear? (老鼠害怕什么天氣?)
答:when it's raining cats and dogs.(下大雨。rain cats and dogs 下大雨 )
3.when do dogs refuse to follow their masters? (狗什么時候不愿跟隨主人?)
答:when their masters go to the flea market.(主人去跳蚤市場時。flea 跳蚤 flea market 舊貨市場 )
4.what question can never be answered by “yes”? (哪個問題永遠(yuǎn)不能回答“是的”?)
答:are you asleep? (你睡著了嗎)
5.what tree is always very sad? (那種樹總是很傷心?)
答:weeping willow. ( 垂柳 weep哭泣 willow柳樹)
6.when can you get water with a net? (什么時候可以用網(wǎng)兜裝水?)
答:when water is turned into ice. (當(dāng)水結(jié)成冰時)
7.why is the pig always eating?豬為什么沒完沒了地吃?
答:he's making a hog of himself.它想成為一只肉豬。
8.what's the longest word in the world?世界上最長的單詞是什么?
答:smiles. because there's a mile between the letter 's'.微笑。因為兩個字母s中間隔了一里。
9.what question is that to which you must always answer "yes"? 什么問題你只能回答“yes”?
答:"what does y-e-s spell?" (當(dāng)別人問你)“yes”怎么拼?
10.where were you when the power was cut off? 當(dāng)停電的時候你在哪?
答:in the darkness. 在黑暗中
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 (菁選3篇)(擴(kuò)展3)
——愚人節(jié)圖片笑話
愚人節(jié)圖片笑話1
愚人節(jié)圖片笑話【2】
愚人節(jié)圖片笑話【3】
愚人節(jié)圖片笑話【4】
愚人節(jié)圖片笑話【5】
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 (菁選3篇)(擴(kuò)展4)
——4月愚人節(jié)英語作文3篇
4月愚人節(jié)英語作文1
Last March, my mother told my father and me that my grandfather would come in April. We were very happy because my grandfather was an interesting old man and he had not visited us since he went to Hong Kong.
On April 1 my father and I bought a lot of food from the supermarket and bought a big bunch of flowers home. Then we did some cleaning at home. At night when we were waiting for my grandfather, the bell rang and in came my mother. She smiled to us and said "April fools"!
去年3月,我母親告訴我的父親和我,我的祖父4月份會來的。我們很高興,因為我的祖父是一個有趣的.老人與他沒有訪問我們自從他去了**。
4月1日我的父親和我從超市買了很多食物,買了一大束鮮花回家。然后,我們做了一些清潔家里。晚上當(dāng)我們等待我的祖父時,鈴響了,我的母親走了進(jìn)來。她微笑著對我們說“四月傻瓜”!
4月愚人節(jié)英語作文2
april fools' day is a day to play jokes on others, no one knows how this holiday began but people think it first started in france. in the 16 th century, people celebrated new year's day from march 25 to april 1.
in the mid—1560s king charles ix changed it from march 25 to january 1. but some people still celebrated in on april 1(內(nèi)容來自diyifanwen), so others called them april fools. each country celebrates april fools' day differently.
in france, people call the april fools “april fish”. they tape a paper fish to their friends' backs to fool them. when he or she finds this , they shout “april fish!” in england, people play jokes only in the morning. you are a “noodle” if someone fools you.
in scotland, april fools' day is 48 hours long. they call an april fool “april gowk”. gowk is another name for a cuckoo bird.
in the america, people play small jokes on their friends and any other people on the first of aprol. they may point down to your shoe and say, “your shoelace is untied.” if you believe them and look down to see, you are an april fool then.
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 (菁選3篇)(擴(kuò)展5)
——愚人節(jié)經(jīng)典笑話 (菁選2篇)
愚人節(jié)經(jīng)典笑話1
愚人節(jié)笑話1:愚人節(jié)廁所的故事!
這是一個經(jīng)久不衰的故事……這個故事也許是真的……眼看一年一度的愚人節(jié)又將來到,你會是這個故事的主角,或是把這個故事和好友分享,又或是陰謀策劃又一起悲劇呢?愚人節(jié),我們和你同在…… 愚人節(jié)千萬別上廁所,真的!再提醒一句,這不是演習(xí),千萬別上廁所!
老槍傻不呵呵的直奔廁所而去,事畢,找?guī),驚呆,空卷軸無紙。
瞬間想明白原來今天是愚人節(jié),老槍怒罵道,折騰人也不要找這里啊!正在急得撓頭時,發(fā)現(xiàn)兜裝手機(jī),喜極而泣,這簡直是最后一根救命草啊。
于是電話同事一號,“吾在廁所,無紙,速來救急!”
同事答:“今天愚人節(jié),剛才就有人喊要廁紙救急的,怎么又有人?不可信!”話畢,掛機(jī),痛罵中。
電話同事二號,“吾在廁所,無紙,速來救急!”
同事答:“今天愚人節(jié),一概外出工作一概拒絕,不好意思!”話畢,掛機(jī),痛苦中。
電話同事三號,“我知道今天是愚人節(jié),吾在廁所,無紙,速來救急,請相信我!”
同事答:“你怎么可以模仿我,剛用這招騙一人,你怎么未經(jīng)磋商就擅自使用?”話畢,掛機(jī),無奈中。
電話同事四號,撥號中……隔壁蹲廁響起一聲,“朋友,別指望了,我在這里已經(jīng)三小時,電話已經(jīng)沒電,至今未脫困!”
愚人節(jié)笑話2:幸虧它幫忙
有個男人上街買了一擔(dān)米,一頭重,一頭輕,不好挑。他抓抓頭皮想出了一個辦法,在輕的一邊放上一塊大石頭。他汗流泱背地把米挑到家,放下?lián)樱L長噓了一口氣道:“今天幸虧有這塊石頭,不然簡直沒辦法挑回來!”
愚人節(jié)笑話3:前面也有雨
有個男人在雨里慢慢行走。路上有人見了覺得奇怪,問他道:
“雨下得這么大,你怎么不快點走?”
他從從容容地答道:“快點兒走有啥用?前面也有雨嘛!”
愚人節(jié)笑話4:“不識數(shù)”的播音員
電視里放映精彩激烈的乒乓球賽,引起了老奶奶的極大興趣。
看完后她嘖嘖稱贊:“球打得好,球打得好!可惜偏偏找了個不識數(shù)的播音員!”
小孫孫聽了不解地問:“人家咋不識數(shù)?”
老奶奶說:“明明是兩個人在打球,他偏說是單打。明明是四個人在打球,他卻硬說是雙打。他少數(shù)了一半,這不是不識數(shù)是啥?”
愚人節(jié)笑話5:家里人知道
醫(yī)生對護(hù)士說:“你去問那位受傷的太太的名字,好通知她家里!
護(hù)士一會兒回來后說:“病人說:‘不用了,家里人知道我的名字。,”
愚人節(jié)笑話6:最好與最糟
一座橋用兩根木頭搭成,一根高,一根低。有個拐子過橋,高的那根木頭正好湊合著他的短腿,因此走起來*穩(wěn),就稱贊說:“天底下就數(shù)這座橋造得最好。”
拐子辦完事回來,由于換了方向,一高一低的橋使他特別費力,他生氣他說:“這是座天底下造得最糟糕的橋了!
愚人節(jié)笑話7:找錢
有一天,一個人在沙漠里挖坑。有個過路的人見了,問他挖什么,他說:“我在沙漠里埋了一些錢,現(xiàn)在找不到埋的地方了!蹦侨苏f:“你埋錢的時候應(yīng)當(dāng)做個標(biāo)記呀!”
“我做了標(biāo)記!
“什么標(biāo)記?”
他說:“當(dāng)時天上的烏云正遮著它!
愚人節(jié)笑話8:大吃一驚
護(hù)士:“喂,您是教授嗎?告訴您一個好消息,您做爸爸啦!——就在剛才!”
教授:“噢,請您先不要告訴我妻子,我要讓她大吃一驚!”
愚人節(jié)笑話9:多納爾母親的來信
親愛的多納爾:
寥寥數(shù)言,讓你知道我還活著。深知你讀得不快,所以我也慢慢地寫。你回來的時候?qū)⒄也坏轿覀兊姆孔恿,因為我們已?jīng)搬了家。先前住在這里的那戶人家,不想改變他們的地址,把門牌拿走了。因此,我無法把家里現(xiàn)在的門牌告訴你。
你父親找到了有趣的新工作,他下面有500多人——他在公墓割草。
今天早晨,你的姐姐生了一個可愛的嬰孩,是男是女我還沒弄清楚,因而,你究竟當(dāng)了舅父還是當(dāng)了姨父我也說不清。
昨天,你爸爸陪我上醫(yī)院去看病。醫(yī)生把一根小管子放進(jìn)我的嘴里檢查體溫,還叫我10分鐘不要開口。你爸爸說:要是醫(yī)生肯賣,他愿意出10鎊錢把那根管子買下來。
上星期總共下了兩場雨,第一場下了三天,第二場下了四天。
你的慈母
附言:我還想給你寫,可惜我已經(jīng)沒信封了。
愚人節(jié)笑話10:不要等了
紳士初次到倫敦,對**說:“我和妻子各自走失了,要是她經(jīng)過這里,你可叫她等在這里嗎!”
**:“可是我不認(rèn)識她呀!”
紳士:“呀!一點不錯!我真沒有想到這事,那你叫她不要等了!
以上這四則愚人節(jié)笑話一定讓你樂翻天,大家一起來收集愚人節(jié)笑話吧,愚人節(jié)笑話能讓愚人節(jié)更加歡樂。
愚人節(jié)經(jīng)典笑話2
瑞士面條樹
1957年愚人節(jié)***中說,瑞士的面條樹大豐收,農(nóng)民都在樹上收割面條。大量觀眾上當(dāng)受騙,打電話來咨詢面條樹的種植方法。*對此的回復(fù)是:把一根面條插在番茄醬里,然后就等著吧。
虛擬棒球天才
1985年愚人節(jié),運動畫刊雜志發(fā)布一條假消息,稱一個名為Sidd Finch的新人棒球投球手,能投出168mph時速的球,比當(dāng)時記錄高出65mph;而且這位新人之前都沒有玩過棒球!他在一個*的寺廟里學(xué)會了投球的藝術(shù)。大批棒球粉絲因此被騙。其實這個只是文章作者瞎編的。
即時彩色電視
1962年愚人節(jié),當(dāng)時瑞典還只有一個電視頻道,而且是黑白的。電視臺的技術(shù)人員當(dāng)天在**中說,彩色電視已經(jīng)研發(fā)成功,用戶只需拿一雙尼龍襪蓋在電視屏幕上就行。還真有人信了。
塔可**鐘
1996年愚人節(jié),塔可鐘快餐公司說他們買下了**費城**廳的大鐘,并重命名為塔可**鐘。憤怒的市民打電話給費城的國家歷史公園,要求確認(rèn)這個消息。幾小時后塔可鐘快餐公司承認(rèn)這只是個玩笑。當(dāng)天最烏龍的事件還不在此。白宮**會秘書Mike McCurry被問到這件事時,隨機(jī)應(yīng)變回答說,林肯紀(jì)念碑也被賣了,現(xiàn)在被命名為福特水星汽車紀(jì)念碑。
虛擬國家
1977年愚人節(jié),英國衛(wèi)報發(fā)行了長達(dá)7頁的增刊,全是介紹San Serriffe這個印度洋上的小島國的,據(jù)說那里有好幾個分號形狀的小島。文章中大肆渲染了這里的風(fēng)情和民俗,介紹了它的城市和首都,甚至總統(tǒng)的名字。當(dāng)天衛(wèi)報編輯室的電話都被讀者打爆了,大家都想知道這樣美好的度假勝地在哪。只有***注意到,首都名字Bodoni是印刷術(shù)語,是一種印刷字體的名稱。
圓周率值的'修改
1998年愚人節(jié):New Mexicans科學(xué)技術(shù)雜志**阿拉巴馬州要立法改變圓周率pi的值,很快這事被傳上網(wǎng),通過電子郵件傳遍全世界。阿拉巴馬立法機(jī)構(gòu)因此接到無數(shù)*電話。
左撇子大漢堡
1998年愚人節(jié),漢堡王在今日**報紙上發(fā)布了真?zhèn)版面的廣告,介紹他們的新食物:左手漢堡,據(jù)說是專為左撇子人士設(shè)計,啥都沒變,就是全部旋轉(zhuǎn)了180度(小編好奇:轉(zhuǎn)了180度有區(qū)別么?)成千上萬的顧客因此前來品嘗,而且有人要求設(shè)計“右手漢堡”。
熱性**鑿冰蟲
1995年愚人節(jié)。探索雜志著名野生動物學(xué)家Aprile Pazzo博士在南極洲發(fā)現(xiàn)了一種新生物:熱性**鑿冰蟲。這種生物的頭上有盤狀骨頭,血液豐富,溫度很高,因此能夠穿透冰層。他們以此來捕食企鵝。Pazzo博士同時聲稱,經(jīng)過詳細(xì)**,這種動物與1837年南極探險家Philippe Poisson的失蹤有關(guān):“對這種蟲來說,他可能長得像企鵝!碧剿麟s志上還從來沒有哪篇文章得到如此多的讀者反饋。
萬有引力消失
1976年愚人節(jié),英國天文學(xué)家Patrick Moore說,早上9:47時,一個千載難逢的天文現(xiàn)象就要發(fā)生:冥王星會從木星后面經(jīng)過,導(dǎo)致暫時的重力失調(diào),抵消并消減地球上的萬有引力,因此人們能體會到一種奇妙的漂浮感覺。9:47,*之聲接到無數(shù)電話,人們聲稱感到自己漂浮起來了。一個女人甚至說,她和她的朋友從椅子上飄起來,在房間里蕩來蕩去。
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 (菁選3篇)(擴(kuò)展6)
——愚人節(jié)起源英語作文 (菁選2篇)
愚人節(jié)起源英語作文1
Fool's Day, also known as Wan-Yu Festival, is also a United States folk festivals in the West, which is decided festival period of April 1 of each year. Fool's Day has emerged for several centuries, different opinions about its origin. An argument that this practice originated in India, "Quan Ri Festival." This section provides that an annual festival on this day March 31, regardless of gender and age, you can each joke with each other to fool deception in exchange for entertainment. The more common argument is Fool's Day originated in France. 1564, the French start on a new reform Annals France Gregorian calendar (the Gregorian calendar that is now common) to January 1 as the beginning of the year. However, some follow the beaten track of the people opposed the reforms, remains stubbornly in accordance with the lunar calendar in the April 1 this day to send gifts to celebrate the New Year. Those who advocated the reform of the practices of those old-fashioned big plus ridicule. Smart funny person April 1 gave them leave to send gifts, invited them to participate in fake press conference. And to conservatives cheated known as the "April fool" or "bait fish." Since then, people will be April 1 to fool each other, becoming a popular custom in France. Early 18th century, Fool's Day customs reached the United Kingdom, followed by the British in the early immigrants into the United States. Initially, any American can be cooked up by shocking news, and live the slightest moral and legal responsibility, the Government and the judiciary will not be prosecuted. On the contrary, who fabricated lies the most bizarre, most people believe that fraud, who will be awarded title. This approach has brought a lot of confusion to society, giving rise to dissatisfaction. Now, people are fooled fraud during the festive season is no longer far off the mark as in the past, but rather for the purpose of easy pleasure.
愚人節(jié)起源英語作文2
History expeeerts say people have been celebrating April Fool's day for a long time , There really wasn't a "first April Fool's Day" that can be pinpointed on the calendar.Fools Day is an environmental demonstration day. It occurs on April 1. The name is a play on the term fossil fuels and April Fools' Day.Fossil Fools Day began in 2004 with coordinated actions across the United States and Canada.Subsequent Fossil Fools Days have been held in many cities around the world, and are generally organized by one or more environmental organizations with funding from Energy Action Coalition and Rising Tide. Events are held in many cities around the world. These events oppose energy derived from fossil fuels, promote education about alternative sources of energy, encourage support for climate justice, strong legislation, corporate responsibility and a clean renewable energy future.Now April Fool's Day has been festival of naughty boys already mainly in USA, people like to tell white lies,The most representative activity of April Fool's Day is still that everybody jokes each other , uses lie to make fun of the other party however,One common trick on April Fool's Day, or All Fool's Day, is pointing down to a friend's shoe and saying, Your shoelace is untied
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 (菁選3篇)(擴(kuò)展7)
——精短愚人節(jié)愚人冷笑話 (菁選2篇)
精短愚人節(jié)愚人冷笑話1
1、Pol.ice攔下一個酒駕的司機(jī),“你好,請出示一下駕照!”
“我……我犯了什……么事兒?”
“你不知道不能酒后駕駛嗎?”
“知……知道啊,所以我是……是邊喝邊……邊開的嘛!”
2、情人節(jié)和愚人節(jié)只有一線之差!
一男對一女說:“你真漂亮!
女的對男的說:“你真帥啊!
路人聽見了便問另一個路人:“他們在過情人節(jié)嗎?”
那人回道:“不,他們在過愚人節(jié)!
3、昨天女神約我去外地玩,晚上住宿,女神關(guān)切地說:“開一間就行了,別破費!
為了給女神留下闊綽的好印象,我立馬把半個月的工錢拿了出來:“不差錢,開兩間!
4、在超市看到綠茶,就想起一次逛街,買了一瓶綠茶,
擰開瓶蓋一看“再來一瓶”,換了之后再擰開看看,結(jié)果又中了!
高興地?fù)Q了之后,才明白拿著兩瓶沒蓋的飲料逛街,是多么二的一件事……
5、村里來一個賣糖葫蘆的。一個小孩很想吃,就對小販說:”如果你給我糖葫蘆吃,我給你學(xué)王八叫,好不?”
小販也沒聽過王八叫,就答應(yīng)了。
吃完糖葫蘆,小販催他趕緊叫。
他擦擦嘴,扯著嗓子吼了一聲:“賣~~糖葫蘆~~咧~~”
精短愚人節(jié)愚人冷笑話2
1、男友:“我的`*板電腦今天摔了,屏幕有條裂縫!”
我:“不會吧?裂多嚴(yán)重?”
男友:“我截圖給你看下!”
我……
2、一位大叔從家門口經(jīng)過,上前打招呼:“大叔我家吃飯吧!”
他說:“吃過了!
“吃了進(jìn)來喝點酒啊!”
“不了,空腹容易喝醉…… ”
3、大學(xué)的時候,老師讓我們模擬做老板。
閨蜜模擬做的是牛奶生意,老師讓我們介紹自己產(chǎn)品的優(yōu)勢。
閨蜜說:“我的奶絕對新鮮,我可以送貨上門的!
頓時教室就一片笑聲了。。。
4、昨天一室友和他女友聊QQ,我們都在旁邊看著。
兩人正處熱戀,聊著聊著他女朋友突然說:親愛的,你把我吃了吧?
他不解:為什么啊?
她答:那樣就可以永遠(yuǎn)在一起啦!
然后室友說了句:不行!拉出來怎么辦?
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 (菁選3篇)(擴(kuò)展8)
——蠢事愚人節(jié)爆笑笑話 (菁選2篇)
蠢事愚人節(jié)爆笑笑話1
1、好奇問女友:你以前交過幾個男友?
她:一個,你呢?
我:兩個!
她暴怒咆哮:放**,我知道的都不止兩個!
我就奇怪了,你兇什么,我們現(xiàn)在討論的是交過幾個男友。。。
2、今天見美**事穿著低胸裝,于是跟她打賭:你信不信我能隔著衣服把你胸罩取出來?
她說不信。
我:要是取不出來我給你50塊。
她還是不信,于是。。。這都半天了我這臉還是疼。。。
3、女:我們分手吧!
富二代:為什么?
女:因為你家人。
富二代:我昨天才帶你見過我爸,他說很喜歡你!
女:對啊,不止你爸很喜歡我,我也很喜歡你爸。
4、今天和暗戀的**學(xué)在街上碰面了,多年不見,本想來個熱情的擁抱,對方卻毫不留面子的閃開笑著道:“你是想碰瓷嗎!”
我的心情一下降到了冰點。。。
唉,人心變了、世道也變了,這胸大的女人也TM的變得這么機(jī)智了。。。
蠢事愚人節(jié)爆笑笑話2
1、每年4.1我過生日,我跟別人說“今天我生日,晚上請大家吃飯!彼麄兌疾恍拧
2、教你怎么畫自畫像:首先在紙上寫下你的名字,在第一個字上面寫M,下面寫W,左邊寫E,在最后一個字下面寫W,右邊寫Q,再用弧線把字母連起來,怎么樣,很像吧!你好帥哦!!!
3、愚人節(jié)到了,大家能不能玩點有些技術(shù)含量的,例如給我充****話費讓我猜猜誰充的,給我寄一箱好吃的讓我猜猜誰給的,把蘋果6S.Plus放在我口袋里讓我猜猜誰干的,拿一摞大鈔扔我讓我猜猜誰砸的,這些都是可以的,年輕人不要老是一成不變的套路 ,要有創(chuàng)新精神,明天我不希望看到你們毫無長進(jìn)!
4、妹妹:姐夫,我今天終于能估計勇氣和你說這句話了。
姐夫:是嗎?別讓你姐聽到!說吧!
妹妹:姐夫,愚人節(jié)快樂!
姐夫。。。
5、很久很久以前,有一個老漁夫帶著他孫子出海捕魚,沒想到碰**海嘯,孫子很擔(dān)心,就對他爺爺說:“爺爺要刮大風(fēng)了,我們回去吧!
可是他爺爺不答應(yīng):“乖孫啊,爺爺什么風(fēng)浪沒見過,一定會沒事的!
話音剛落,一個巨浪打來,把劃船的`槳打斷了。
于是爺爺說:“乖孫啊,槳完了!(拿去講給你的好友聽吧!)
6、男子撿到神燈,召喚出燈神。 燈神:“今天是愚人節(jié),許愿要說反話才能實現(xiàn)喲”
男子:“神啊,請讓我成為世界上最丑最窮最衰永遠(yuǎn)沒人愛的人吧~”
燈神:“好的。騙到你了哈哈~”
7、女友是個波霸,我開玩笑問她:“里面的不會都是硅膠吧?”
她點點頭說:“是呀!”
看我臉都白了,她大笑著安慰我說:“今天是愚人節(jié),我騙你的啦!其實那是用我自己脂肪做的,我以前是男人的時候比較胖。”
8、聽說今天愚人節(jié)!我第一時間給老板打電話說:老板我不干了!
老板:等下來財務(wù)部吧工資結(jié)一下。
我:老板愚人節(jié)快樂!
老板:我不過愚人節(jié),你還是來把你工資結(jié)了吧!
我該腫么辦,誰有什么辦法幫幫我,急,在線等。。。
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 (菁選3篇)(擴(kuò)展9)
——愚人節(jié)笑話分享「精編版」
愚人節(jié)笑話分享「精編版」1
不用了,家里人知道我的名字
醫(yī)生對護(hù)士說:“你去問那位受傷的太太的名字,好通知她家里!
護(hù)士一會兒回來后說:“病人說:‘不用了,家里人知道我的名字。,”
快點兒走有啥用?前面也有雨嘛
有個男人在雨里慢慢行走。路上有人見了覺得奇怪,問他道:
“雨下得這么大,你怎么不快點走?”
他從從容容地答道:“快點兒走有啥用?前面也有雨嘛!”
找錢
有一天,一個人在沙漠里挖坑。有個過路的人見了,問他挖什么,他說:“我在沙漠里埋了一些錢,現(xiàn)在找不到埋的地方了。” 那人說:“你埋錢的時候應(yīng)當(dāng)做個標(biāo)記呀!”
“我做了標(biāo)記。”
“什么標(biāo)記?”
他說:“當(dāng)時天上的烏云正遮著它!
大吃一驚
護(hù)士:“喂,您是教授嗎?告訴您一個好消息,您做爸爸啦!——就在剛才!”
教授:“噢,請您先不要告訴我妻子,我要讓她大吃一驚!”
多納爾母親的來信 我還想給你寫,可惜我已經(jīng)把信封了
親愛的多納爾:
寥寥數(shù)言,讓你知道我還活著。深知你讀得不快,所以我也慢慢地寫。你回來的時候?qū)⒄也坏轿覀兊姆孔恿,因為我們已?jīng)搬了家。先前住在這里的那戶人家,不想改變他們的地址,把門牌拿走了。因此,我無法把家里現(xiàn)在的門牌告訴你。
你父親找到了有趣的新工作,他下面有500多人——他在公墓割草。
今天早晨,你的姐姐生了一個可愛的嬰孩,是男是女我還沒弄清楚,因而,你究竟當(dāng)了舅父還是當(dāng)了姨父我也說不清。
昨天,你爸爸陪我上醫(yī)院去看病。醫(yī)生把一根小管子放進(jìn)我的嘴里檢查體溫,還叫我10分鐘不要開口。你爸爸說:要是醫(yī)生肯賣,他愿意出10鎊錢把那根管子買下來。
上星期總共下了兩場雨,第一場下了三天,第二場下了四天。
你的慈母
附言:我還想給你寫,可惜我已經(jīng)把信封了。
那你叫她不要等了
紳士初次到倫敦,對**說:“我和妻子各自走失了,要是她經(jīng)過這里,你可叫她等在這里嗎!”
**:“可是我不認(rèn)識她呀!”
紳士:“呀!一點不錯!我真沒有想到這事,那你叫她不要等了!
幸虧它幫忙
有個男人上街買了一擔(dān)米,一頭重,一頭輕,不好挑。他抓抓頭皮想出了一個辦法,在輕的一邊放上一塊大石頭。他汗流泱背地把米挑到家,放下?lián)樱L長噓了一口氣道:“今天幸虧有這塊石頭, 不然簡直沒辦法挑回來!”
“不識數(shù)”的播音員
電視里放映精彩激烈的乒乓球賽,引起了老奶奶的極大興趣。
看完后她嘖嘖稱贊:“球打得好,球打得好!可惜偏偏找了個不識數(shù)的播音員!”
小孫孫聽了不解地問:“人家咋不識數(shù)?”
老奶奶說:“明明是兩個人在打球,他偏說是單打。明明是四個人在打球,他卻硬說是雙打。他少數(shù)了一半,這不是不識數(shù)是啥?”
最好與最糟
一座橋用兩根木頭搭成,一根高,一根低。有個拐子過橋,高的那根木頭正好湊合著他的短腿,因此走起來*穩(wěn),就稱贊說:“天底 下就數(shù)這座橋造得最好。”
千萬別穿帶鞋帶的鞋出門
記得那年的`四月一日 ,我走在上學(xué)的路上,看家前面的哥們鞋帶開了,就提醒他。結(jié)果他說你別騙我了,今天愚人節(jié)。 這不是亮點。。。。亮點是。他才剛說完,就踩著鞋帶,摔了個狗吃屎。。。
就這么任性,愚人節(jié)過生日
我問老媽:真倒霉,為什么我的生日是愚人節(jié),老是有人拿這個調(diào)侃我。
老媽說:因為我的生日是婦女節(jié),從小就被人取笑,所以我當(dāng)時就下定決心找個人轉(zhuǎn)移一下大家的***。
本來你的預(yù)產(chǎn)期是四月末,后來特意把你從四月一號剖腹產(chǎn)生出來了。。
求求你相信我啊,我真的愚人節(jié)生日
看到一高中同學(xué)寫的朋友圈,我笑了半天。內(nèi)容是:你們還是人嗎?老子愚人節(jié)生日怎么了?!你們不信就不信吧!還非要要晚上幫我慶祝!老子特么訂了2大桌好菜,一個人看了一晚上!
看看誰嚇誰
有一次愚人節(jié)戴上面具去街上逛悠,突然看見前面有個朋友,我想嚇嚇?biāo),就拍拍他的肩膀,結(jié)果轉(zhuǎn)過來的卻是一張空白的臉皮,我當(dāng)場就被嚇壞了,怕的趕緊跑回家了結(jié)果第二天聽另一個朋友嘲笑我說她只是戴著面具,天,聰明反被聰明誤啊囧死了!
愚人節(jié)笑話英語 (菁選3篇)(擴(kuò)展10)
——簡短愚人節(jié)英語作文
簡短愚人節(jié)英語作文1
April fools' day is a day to play jokes on others, no one knows how this holiday began but people think it first started in france. in the 16 th century, people celebrated new year's day from march 25 to april 1.
In the mid—1560s king charles ix changed it from march 25 to january 1. but some people still celebrated in on april 1, so others called them april fools. each country celebrates april fools' day differently.
In france, people call the april fools “april fish”. they tape a paper fish to their friends' backs to fool them. when he or she finds this , they shout “april fish!” in england, people play jokes only in the morning. you are a “noodle” if someone fools you.
In scotland, april fools' day is 48 hours long. they call an april fool “april gowk”. gowk is another name for a cuckoo bird.
In the america, people play small jokes on their friends and any other people on the first of aprol. they may point down to your shoe and say, “your shoelace is untied.” if you believe them and look down to see, you are an april fool then.
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