英語幽默句子精選

　　英語幽默句子，英語如此搞笑，翻譯如此殘暴！

　　I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

　　開始我直接求上帝賜輛自行車。后來我琢磨上帝辦事兒不是這個路數(shù)。于是老子偷了一輛然后求上帝寬恕。

　　Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

　　你永遠(yuǎn)不能戰(zhàn)勝一個純SB，因?yàn)樗麜�把你的智商拉到跟他個水平，然后用豐富的經(jīng)驗(yàn)打敗你.

　　I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

　　曾以為我想要的`是職業(yè)，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)我只是想要工資。

　　Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

　　直譯：知識就是說你知道西紅柿是一種水果；智慧就好似不要把它放進(jìn)水果沙拉里。

　　意譯a：知識就是告訴你說應(yīng)該把雞蛋放進(jìn)籃子，智慧則是叫你不要把所有雞蛋都放進(jìn)一個籃子。

　　意譯b：所謂知識就是知道韓少和小四都屬于80后，但智慧告訴你最終還是男女有別。

　　If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

　　上帝瞅著咱們呢，大伙好歹喜感點(diǎn)吧！

　　Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

　　孩子就是：你先花2年，教丫們走路和說話。然后你再花16年教丫們坐定和閉嘴。

　　Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says"If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

　　當(dāng)我填表的時候，有一項(xiàng)是“緊急情況聯(lián)系：” 我填上了“醫(yī)生”，到時候我媽能幫上什么忙？！

　　The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

　　直譯：小孩子要中間名，純粹是為了讓他知道他啥時候真的有麻煩了。

　　意譯：起個全名就為了揍孩子前可以底氣十足地喊出來。

　　It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

　　跳樓的時候，“啊——”的時候還沒死， “啪！”那才是死了。