簡單幽默英語小故事

　　簡單幽默英語小故事篇一

　　A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.”

　　一個盲人和他的導盲犬站在十字路口上正等著過馬路。這時那個一導盲犬把腿抬了起來開始小便，毫無疑問盲人的褲子濕了。但是這個盲人卻平靜地從口袋里拿出了一塊餅干給狗吃。一個過路人對此很不解地說道:“你的脾氣真好，那條狗都作了這樣的事情你還拿餅干給它。”

　　"Not really，”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.”

　　“不是這樣的�！泵と嘶卮鹫f:“我只是想知道它的嘴在哪里，這樣我就可以踢它的`屁股。”

　　簡單幽默英語小故事篇二

　　A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull.

　　一位來自大城市的律師在一樁訴訟案中，代表鐵路部門同一位老農(nóng)場主打官司。這個農(nóng)場主的牛在有鐵路的地方不見了。他說牛一定是被火車撞了，所以要求賠償買牛的錢。

　　The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check，the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success，telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man，but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”

　　案子先要進行公審，才能被送到法庭后面的會議廳里進行討論。農(nóng)場主剛一出現(xiàn)，鐵路一方的律師就把他拉到了一旁，想進行庭外和解。最后律師盡其所能，說服了農(nóng)場主，只支付他所要求賠償?shù)囊话搿＾r(nóng)場主簽完了契約，取走了支票以后，年輕的律師為自己的成功感到得意洋洋。他對農(nóng)場主說:“老頭，你知道嗎，我本不想告訴你的，剛才我是嚇唬你。我本來贏不了這場官司的，那天早晨當火車穿過你的農(nóng)場附近的時候，司機睡著了，火夫正在餐車里。我根本找不出一個證人。我是嚇唬你的�！�

　　The old rancher replied，"Well，I’11 tell you，young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”

　　老農(nóng)場主說:“我要告訴你，小子，我覺得贏了這場官司，我有一些不安心，因為我那頭可愛的牛今天早晨已經(jīng)回來了�！�

　　簡單幽默英語小故事篇三

　　Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!”

　　奧斯卡駕駛著自己嶄新的奔馳汽車去他最喜愛的體育用品商店。他把車停在了外面，到店里去找經(jīng)常為他服務的簡小姐看一些資料。簡是一位非常漂亮的金發(fā)女郎。奧斯卡走進店里受到了她熱烈的歡迎。奧斯卡提出想先自己轉(zhuǎn)轉(zhuǎn)，再找簡幫忙。簡同意了。5分鐘后，簡跑過來大叫著:“奧斯卡，奧斯卡!我剛才看到一個人把你的新奔馳車開走了!”

　　"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"

　　“我的天啊!你沒叫住他嗎?”

　　"No,”she said，"I did better than that! I got the license plate number”

　　“沒有，”簡說:“我的方法更好，我記下了他的車牌號。”