英語笑話短笑話大全

　　冷笑話是近幾年新興的一種語言現(xiàn)象,它輕松詼諧、別具一格,給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕松的情趣,它一出現(xiàn)便受到了大多數(shù)人的喜愛。陽光網(wǎng)小編整理了經(jīng)典英語笑話短笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話短笑話篇一

　　Napoleon Was Ill

　　Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.

　　"He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."

　　"No, no, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!"

　　"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."

　　拿破侖病了

　　杰克到一所大學(xué)去學(xué)歷史。第一學(xué)期結(jié)束時，歷史課教授沒讓他及格。學(xué)校讓他退學(xué)。然而，杰克的父親決定去見教授，強烈要求讓杰克繼續(xù)來年的學(xué)業(yè)。

　　“他是個好孩子，”杰克的'父親說：“您要是讓他這次及格，我相信他明年會有很大進步，學(xué)期結(jié)束時，他一定會考好的。”

　　“不，不，那不可能，”教授馬上回答。“你知道嗎?上個月我問他拿破侖什么時候死的，他都不知道。”

　　“先生，請再給他一次機會吧。”杰克的父親說：“你不知道，恐怕是因為我們家沒有訂報紙。我們家的人連拿破侖病了都不知道。”

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話短笑話篇二

　　He Was Only Wrong by Two

　　Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be accepted by the college.

　　One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion, "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."

　　Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.

　　At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"

　　The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."

　　The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."

　　他的得數(shù)只比正確答案多二

　　杰克霍金斯是美國一所學(xué)院的橄欖球隊教練，他竭力想物色好球員。但是好球員學(xué)業(yè)不行，院方不愿錄取。

　　有一天，教練帶著一位優(yōu)秀的年輕球員去見院長，希望院方同意他免試入學(xué)。經(jīng)過一番勸說后院長說：“那我最好先問問他幾個問題。”

　　然后他轉(zhuǎn)向?qū)W生，問了幾個非常簡單的問題�？墒悄莻�學(xué)生一個也答不上來。

　　最后院長說：“那么，五乘七得多少?”

　　學(xué)生想了很久，然后回答說：“三十六。”

　　院長攤開雙手失望地看了看教練�？墒墙叹氄J真地說，“噢，錄取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正確答案多二。”

　　經(jīng)典英語笑話短笑話篇三

　　Best Reward

　　A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.

　　"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I‘d pulled you out, they‘d chuck me in."

　　最好的獎賞

　　一名海軍軍官從甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。這位軍官問如何才能酬謝他。